Lost in translation? Part deux

Yesterday Baba bought a cell phone from a friend at work. It's a dual-card phone, meaning that you can have 2 SIM cards in it at the same time for two different phone numbers. He was trying to read the instructions last night and having a difficult time. You see, the instructions had been written in Chinese and translated into English. I'm thinking that an online translator could only have done a much better job. Here's a sample:

For the sake of the safety and availably use your cellular phone, please to read a following information before use:

At chemical engineering factory, gas station, oil depot and other explosive neighborhood, please shut down.

Make the cellular phone keep off a child.

Don't use a cellular phone while drive. If converse, please park the car first; Especially don't usage in the high speed the motoring cellular phone.

Please don't on a plane use to move a telephone, before get on board please check a cellular phone whether established to automatically switch on function.

Don't use ambulation telephone at the hospital, in order to prevent interference medical treatment the normal operation of the equipments, cause the occurrence of medical treatment trouble, if when the cardiac pacemaker, hearing aid and a little bit other equipments neighborhood of the medical treatment electronics use a cellular phone in response to the special attention, cellular phone possibility the interference be these equipments.

Not original factory enclosure and accessories don't have to protect to fix qualifications.

Please don't dismantle to unload a cellular phone by oneself, if your cellular phone occurrence break down, please specify with us of maintain place to make contact.

Strictly forbid a cellular phone to put on charger to refresh while packing up the battery; Should turn off cellular phone power supply while taking battery, otherwise damage telephone memory.

Refresh have to at airiness with spread hot good environment a bottom to carry on, keep off easy Ran and easily explode an article.

In order to avoid eliminating Ci, please keep a cellular phone to keep off magnetism material, like floppy disk, credit card...etc.

Insure a cellular phone don't contact any liquid, once this kind circumstance happening please dismantle battery and specify with us of maintain place to make contact.

Avoid in the temperature leading Gao or lead under the low environment use a cellular phone, avoid exposing a cellular phone in under the strong sunlight or the degree of humidity higher environment.

Can't use liquid or imply the wet pack of strong rinse to sweep your ambulation telephone.

Your cellular phone has to take photo with recording function and please act according to the related law laws use these functions and take photo without authorization with the recording may violate law and laws.

While using a cellular phone please don't throw, put, knock cellular phone, the in order to prevent damages outer shell and the cellular phone internal component.

Don't throw old battery into generally living garbage. It is have explicit provision to discard the place that the old battery handle, please to handle according to the designation rule.

: This manual is in Chinese simplified Chinese operate under the mode of usage explain, operate mode a bottom to have a little bit of dissimilarity in English.

: Our company for don't obey the above-mentioned suggestion or falsely be an usage but result in of result, won't undertake any responsibility.

Such as this manual the contents say out of accordance with your cellular phone please take cellular phone as quasi-.

Our company has power to carry on a modification to the manual at any time and forgive a not another line to notify.

It is it any wonder Baba had trouble reading this thing? That was just the first two pages! I didn't change a thing except to double space for easier reading.

Enjoy!