I received this today in an e-mail. It is SO apropos!

Jeff Foxworthy on School Employees
(minimally edited for Kuwait)

YOU might be a school employee if you believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

YOU might be a school employee if you want to slap the next person who says, 'Must be nice to work 7:00 to 3:00 and have summers off."

YOU might be a school employee if it is difficult to name your own child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't cause high blood pressure as it is uttered.

YOU might be a school employee if you can tell it's a full moon or if it's going to rain, blow, hail.... anything, without ever looking outside.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe 'shallow gene pool' should have its own box on a report card.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, 'Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.'

YOU might be a school employee if when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

YOU might be a school employee if you have no social life between August and June.

YOU might be a school employee if you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

YOU might be a school employee if you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce.

YOU might be a school employee if you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to your ‘free time.’

YOU might be a school employee if you subtly encourage an obnoxious child to believe that there is no need for him/her to attend the last three weeks of school.
YOU might be a school employee if you dream of covering your students' chairs with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro.

YOU might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent instantly answers this question, 'Why is this kid like this?'

YOU might be a school employee if you would choose a colonoscopy over a parent conference.

YOU might be a school employee if you think someone should invent antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that matter!

YOU might be a employee if the words, “I went into debt for an education to be qualified to do THIS?” has ever come out of your mouth.

YOU might be a school employee if you know how many days, minutes, and seconds are left in the school year!